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Breaking Tradition: How to Tell Loved Ones You Want an Intimate Wedding

The moment you get engaged, questions will start pouring in from eager friends and family expecting all the big wedding details. Traditional large celebrations are often the default assumption. But if an intimate micro-wedding feels right for you as a couple, how do you share this vision with loved ones who may have their hearts set on something more elaborate?

It’s natural to feel apprehensive about going against expectations. But couples who opt for small weddings often rave about the experience afterwards:

“We had so much fun!” “It was exactly the wedding we wanted.”

“We felt so free and present on our special day.”

You deserve that same joy and relaxation on your wedding day by crafting a meaningful celebration that reflects your bond. Here’s how to gain support from friends and family for the intimate wedding you envision:

Have Heart-to-Heart Conversations

Talk to your loved ones one-on-one, even if your plans aren’t fully defined yet. This shows you care about their feelings. It also equips them to champion your wedding vision when speaking with others who may be surprised.

Share Your “Why”

Explain the meaningful reasons you want something different for your big day. Frame it positively without judging others’ choices. Potential reasons could include:

  • Prioritizing privacy

  • Saving for other goals like a house

  • Wanting a day focused fully on your relationship

  • Seeking a lower-stress celebration

  • Choosing a venue with limited capacity

  • Creating an event that feels uniquely “you”

Assure Them You’ll Celebrate Later

For loved ones not included in your small guest list, make plans to party with them casually afterwards. This gives everyone something to look forward to together.

Empathize and Reflect

If someone reacts poorly at first, try to understand their feelings before getting defensive yourself. With empathy and patience, you can likely bring them around. If you ever question your wedding vision, reflect on your core reasons. An intimate celebration focused on your love and future together is perfectly okay!

The most important thing is standing firm in what makes you and your partner happy as you embark on marriage. Stay encouraged - with compassion and clarity, your friends and family can learn to share your wedding day dreams!

As a Maine Wedding Photographer specializing in weddings of under 100, intimate weddings, elopements, minamonies, and micro-weddings across the State of Maine, I'm here to document your wedding day in an unobtrusive, heartfelt way to maximize your ability to say present while capturing authentic, natural moments. Get in touch to discuss your plans!


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