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How To Tell Your Friends & Family 

That You Want A Small Wedding.


From the moment you become engaged you'll likely start hearing questions from everyone about your wedding day. 

It's often just expected that you'll be hosting a big, traditional event and well-intentioned friends & family want to hear all the details.  

Choosing to plan a wedding that's different by design takes bravery. You might wonder how you'll host an intimate event if you come from a big family or if you have a family member who has their heart set on elaborate wedding day.

Apprehension about telling your loved ones about the wedding you want is often what holds you back from jumping all in. 

Couples who chose a small wedding often rave about their wedding day afterwards. 

"We all had so much fun!" 

"It was exactly the wedding we wanted to have"

""We experienced so much freedom on our wedding day!"

"I felt so relaxed and present"

You deserve to feel the same way when you wed. 

Talk to them.

Talk with your loved ones in person or over video chat as soon as possible. Even if your idea isn't fully formed you can start to lay the ground work. By talking one on one, you're letting them know that you care about them and their feelings. You'll also be giving them the tools they'll need to talk about your wedding day with others who may also be surprised by your choice. 

Share your why.

Wells Maine Simple Wedding Photographer-

The more clearly you can communicate the reasons that you want your wedding to be different, the more your loved ones will be able to understand and support you. I believe its important to also frame your choice in a way that doesn't put down the choice that others may have made for themselves on their wedding day. 

Some of the reasons couple chose Micro-weddings: 

  • We want to be able to pay for our wedding ourselves.

  • We’re saving to buy a house or take a big vacation before we have kids.

  • The location is meaningful to us but it limits the size of group we can accommodate

  • We want something truly intimate.

  • We want to be free to spend time together on our wedding day and connect with each person there. 

  • We want to spend the day enjoying our relationship instead of worrying about the day's activities.

  • We don’t want the stress of planning a big wedding.

  • Our privacy is important.

  • It’s feels right to both of us. 


Let them know you want to celebrate with everyone after.

If your small wedding doesn't include a lot of the people you still love and value, host a casual event after your wedding. It can be a bbq in your backyard, a pot-luck or whatever you'd like it to be. 

Let them know that you can't wait to celebrate with them in a way that is fun and relaxed for everyone. 

Take some time to reflect

If your loved one has a less than ideal reaction to your plans, try to understand what's really behind their feelings. If you can approach the discussion with empathy and let them know that you care about their feelings, you'll do a better job of bringing them around to your side.

It may just take a little while for them to warm up to the idea. 


If you start to feel guilty about your choices, take a few minutes to reflect on your whys. Remember that your wedding day is the start of your future together. It is a celebration of your love and your union. 

It is OKAY to do it your way. 

Show excitement & help them envision your day. 

Tell them exactly what you envision on your wedding day and do it with enthusiasm. Detail out where you see yourself walking down the isle. Explain the type of food you really want to serve or the setting for the dinner that follows. The more detail and excitement you share, the more they'll come around. Your joy will be infectious!

Sanford Maine Rustic Farm
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